“If you care about what others think of you, then you will always be their slave.”
Have you ever had so many choices at your disposal that you didn’t know what to choose from?
Do you feel “over-choiced” at times to the point where you get overwhelmed and just shut down?
You have to admit…in this day and age, there are tons and tons of choices available to us…especially quarter lifers.
But my question is this: What kind of “choices” are those “choices”?
I have always found it interesting that there are a lot of “choices” available to quarter lifers today, yet many continue down the same path of destruction: graduate high school, go to college, rack up a bunch of debt, graduate college, work in a job you hate to pay off debt…etc, etc.
Given the path that many quarter lifers head down, one could argue that there are many choices at their disposal, it’s just that they don’t “apply themselves”. Another argument could be that there are a lot of choices for quarter lifers are available, it’s just that they don’t know how to choose or they don’t ask for help and guidance.
The above arguments are true…sort of. While there are some quarter lifers who refuse to ask for guidance and don’t “apply themselves”, there other major factors as to why so many of them get ensnared in the trap of social programming.
One of the major factors is peer pressure.
Don’t get me wrong: there are positive forms of peer pressure, such as the kind of pressure used in order to motivate someone to take action toward what he/she really wants to do. On the flip side, the negative kind of peer pressure is the one where a person or a group of people force someone, in some way, to do something or make a decision against their own will. Unfortunately, the negative kind of peer pressure runs rampant in our society. How does this apply here?
As human beings, we are social and emotional creatures that have the basic need and drive to feel loved and desire to belong in a group of some kind. Many of us dread being ostracized if do not conform to a group standard or code of some kind. Our peers (such as our teachers, friends, media figures, celebrities etc) and parents have an enormous influence on what choices and decisions we make that will take our lives down a certain path. Many of us refuse to really look inside and think for ourselves out of fear of being shunned and no one wants to deal with the agony of that.
Quarter lifers make the choices that they do because “everyone is doing it”. It is the trend, the norm, the fad – and if not followed, there is a danger of being “left behind” in your own culture. Gotta keep up with the Joneses.
One of the most pervasive things with peer pressure is that everybody loves to supply you with their own advice. They have had such and such an experience, they got results so, therefore, the advice will work for you. Don’t get me wrong, there are really good pieces of advice out there that are given out by quality professionals on various subjects. What makes their advice really good? Their advice is really good because it is based on FACTS. Facts are based on what is actually going on in the environment around us and can be studied and verified. Facts are free of bias, judgement, prejudice and speculation.
The vast majority of advice that quarter lifers receive from their peers are not facts, but rather BELIEFS. The incoming advice is coming from a belief system of some sort.
Beliefs are extremely powerful, more so than we realize. They can either empower you or decimate you. They can either expand your horizons or severely limit your world. When people offer you their advice, it usually them projecting their own perspective of the world onto you. The advice is usually based on a conclusion of an experience they’ve had where they responded in a certain way. In addition to that, it is likely that they responded to that experience with the choices available to them at that time. So, while a belief is the result of an experience, it is not always a resourceful one and the way one person sees the world may be totally inaccurate for you. That’s where you have to be careful.
I realize the intention of people giving you advice is to help you out. “It’s for your own good” or “We know what is best for you” are the common tenets. Ring a bell?
How do you know if the advice from others is helping? Well, where are you now in relation to the advice others have given you? Has it catapulted you to new heights? Did the advice make you feel good about yourself? If not, I think it is time to take a new route.
Want more choices?
What would happen if you expanded the amount of choices in your own perspective of the world – choices in how to think, feel and respond to situations and circumstances?
What would happen if you found out that you have all the answers within?
How will you know…when you are truly thinking for yourself?
What are your strengths? What are the characteristics about you that make you…YOU? How can these add value to yourself and the lives of others?
These questions, among many others, surpass the average advice that you have been giving, and that is what my coaching is all about. I help discover who you are and what answers you have within to your quarter life issues. It doesn’t sound like a lot and it may sound like the usual “spiritual” stuff you’ve heard before. But I assure you, it is very powerful IF you are open and receptive to what you have to offer.
I am aware that others will tell you that going after what you truly want is “a waste of your time”. It’s a shame, however, that those types of people are “stuck” working in jobs that they hate and living out mediocre lives. As Kurt Cobain once illustrated, don’t be forever in debt to their priceless advice.
One last note (derived from a quote from one of my favourite authors): When people have abundance, they have choice. When they have choice they have freedom. Abundance=choice=freedom. What (negative) peer pressure does is manipulate scarcity because scarcity=dependency=control.
Get where I’m going with this?
You’ve spent your quarter life being a passenger…
Are you ready to be a driver?